OK...now I wil admit.  My life wasn't all that you know organized and great before, but now it has been turned upside down...completely.  I don't know where I am anymore.  I am just wondering around in a world that isn't really my own anymore...not really.  I mean there is this piece of me that just happened to disappate here lately...and I have NO IDEA if I will ever get it back.  It's like I want to cry...but there's really no reason to...but then there is.  I mean...Oh I just don't know.  Have you ever felt like your whole world was just falling down around you like a huge pair of pants that don't even come close to fitting...and you actually feel as if you may have lost your pants because when you world come crashing down like I'm talking about you feel exposed...just like you would if you lost  your pants.  I'm so lost, I'm so alone in this too...because I dunno what to do.  I mean it doesn't bother me...and I'm not really affect by it other than I had some pretty strong feelings about it...haha...oh Well.  Too bad for me.  haha..isn't that just the way it always goes? I mean honestly?  Is that not the way it always goes?  ARG...I serious think I may be on the verge of a nervous breakdown.  I sat in the hall this morning before government class...while I was supposed to be studying...and I just laughed...like MANICALLY...seriously..I mean I freaking just started laughing for no bloody purpose at all.  I just oh..I feel like it's all falling down around my shoulders..if something doesn't happen soon to change this I'm going to lose my mind...really...I'm just going to lose it...I'm going to bloody well lose it...Ok...maybe I already have..maybe I've reached my breaking point now... I hope not..I'm only 17.  That would be horrid.  Well uhm laters

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